Naturally, she says, this can affect the way you experience sex. Christine Scott-Hudson, MFT, licensed psychotherapist , notes that feeling bad about your body can be —and often is — about more than just your body. Give yourself a break from worrying about how you look, Scott-Hudson says. Instead, try to focus on how you feel. Can you move around in it? Do you like spending time in it? Do you find it so excessively cozy you could take a full-on nap in it?
Strip back the aesthetic layers, and concentrate only on the experiential. Consider how things make you feel and unabashedly chase the things that make you feel good. In other words? You may remember how good it feels to let the sun warm your skin.
You remain inside of your own skin, not a gazing spectator of your shell. As we all know far too well, many of the images we see in our magazines, favorite TV shows, and Instagram feeds represent one particular form of beauty.
And we may not see ourselves represented in that homogeneity. And she suggests you take full advantage of that control. Fill your social media feeds with posts you actually like looking at — stuff you feel good about consuming, from people you feel good about following.
Remind yourself of the diversity of beauty that exists in this world. And cut out all the stuff that makes you feel like shit. Sure, physical activity encourages your brain to release feel-good endorphins — and it can make you feel more in control of how you look.
Strip down. Prance around the house. Admire yourself in the mirror. Remind yourself what you look like. So consider this your excuse to spend a day sans clothing. It may also offer you some respite from your concerns. They can help you refocus on the things you love about your bedroom, rather than the things that are stressing you out about it. Well, pretend he's a new beau and chuckle at his jokes, suggestively touch his forearm and make coy comments.
You'll feel kittenish — the way you did when you first started dating. Every now and then, take a break from blow drying and styling your hair. That slightly tousled, sexily untamed mane will bring out your wild side. Pretend to be them! Next time you're in a funk and want to feel sexier, emulate your favorite leading lady, and feel your confidence skyrocket. Throw away those ripped, faded, you've-had-them-for-four-years granny panties and invest in some new underwear.
The sexier, the better — but G-strings aren't required. New bikinis, boy shorts, or even basic briefs can make you feel special. Food serves as a wonderful aphrodisiac, and whipping it up in the kitchen with your partner can make it that much sexier. There are a million reasons to work out — lose weight, lower stress, and yes, boost your sexiness. Sweat releases endorphins, giving you a natural high.
Look directly at him the next time. It'll remind him of the days when he couldn't take his eyes off you. Get in touch with your body by treating yourself to a sensual foot massage. You have thousands of nerve endings in your feet, and stimulating every one will send bolts of electricity through you. Start with your thumbs in the center of the bottom of your foot and walk them up toward your big and pinkie toes so they're gradually moving away from each other.
Then, alternating thumbs, stroke along your arch. Finally, massage each toe, rubbing from bottom to top while pulling it slightly and rotating it in a circle. Don't get dressed right after taking a shower.
Instead, lounge around in a robe that's loosely belted and occasionally gives him a peep show when you move. Kind of naked but temptingly draped, you'll ooze sex appeal. Just because it's winter and you're all bundled up doesn't mean you can't expose yourself a little. Don a silky cream-colored bra no padding, please. Your guy will go gaga seeing the outline of your nipples through the glossy, smooth material — and it'll be a whole lot more comfortable than some lacy number.
Take twice as much time to unbutton every button. Light a scented candle in your den or break out those candlesticks for a romantic dinner. Candlelight casts a warm, cozy glow over everything and everyone in the room and is so much more flattering than harsh lightbulbs. You will — literally and figuratively — see yourself in a new light. Joanne Rock, of Peru, NY, creates lustful playlists that remind her of when she was falling in love with her husband.
Or take out photos from when you two first started dating. Remember that wanton lust that overcame both of you? Trust us, it's still there. Sexy feelings are supposed to be special. We're conditioned to scrutinize every imperfection of our bodies, so giving yourself a reaffirming reality check can do big things. Much the way tweaking your decor might encourage you to feel a bit sexier, dressing up can help. Buehler suggests physical practices, like yoga or deep breathing.
Additionally, moderate exercise, like jogging or your favorite cardio workout , might help in a lot of ways, including boosting your mood and maybe encouraging your libido, the Mayo Clinic says.
To be fair, not feeling as in touch with your sexual side as you like may not top your list of mental health concerns. And you can work directly with a sex therapist to explore some of your feelings, if possible. SELF does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any information published on this website or by this brand is not intended as a substitute for medical advice, and you should not take any action before consulting with a healthcare professional.
She lives in Brooklyn, where, despite her busy schedule, she spends an unbelievable amount of time on her Read more.
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